I've always been a list maker by nature and I think this financial journey I've taken myself on has really reinforced some great practices of writing the important things out in an organized way. I've learned that some clear planning and focused effort can really make what initially seemed impossible, totally manageable. However, lately I've found that my to-do list and planning efforts are out of control, I keep piling things onto my list, making commitments to people when I'm already short on time and energy and just generally feeling
overwhelmed by the number of things that I feel need to get done before the babies come. Everyone around me, including my doctors, kept saying I need to slow down and start "taking it a little easier" as the pregnancy progresses. But I kept looking at my to-do list saying "there's no freaking time to take it easy!"
Finally my body ordered me to slow down last week in the way of having some minor heart palpitations after a particularly strenuous day of work, then errands, followed by some house cleaning. Everything turned out fine but after a trip to the ER and just being scared that I had pushed myself too far, I realized I needed to rethink my priorities. And then it hit me, I've learned how to differentiate between needs and wants when it comes to tangible items in my life... why couldn't I apply that same mentality to my mile long to-do list?!
That night I sat down and wrote out a definition of what a "Need" to do task is and what a "Want" to do task is. Here's what I came up with:
Need to Do: Those things that directly impact my (and the babies) health and well-being. Kind of a loose definition but when I looked at my list only a few things really stood out as Need to Dos. Some financial items fell in this category (like getting my life insurance in order and taxes) and some household tasks also (like getting healthy food at the grocery and keeping a generally sanitary house) but most everything on my list wouldn't actually cause me or the babes any harm if it didn't get done.
Want to Do: All the stuff that I genuinely want to do, the stuff that brings me joy or pleasure in doing. Some of my Want to Do items are things like making valances for the nursery and giving myself a pedicure, or writing on this blog! These are all the items that either got pushed constantly to the bottom of the list or I did in such a hurried way that it felt more like another task I needed to get done and checked off... either way it was taking the pleasure out of doing them!
I quickly realized there should be a third category, all the Should/ Could Do stuff. My to-do list is constantly crammed with all the stuff I Could squeeze into my day, some of which Should get done eventually but have no real critical timeline. The problem is that I was subconsciously putting the Shoulds and Coulds into the Need to Do category. I was driving myself crazy and making myself exhausted trying to pack my day with stuff that just doesn't seem that important now that I've redefined my priorities!
I realize that other people are naturally better at taking it easy (like S for instance who can genuinely become blind to the piles of laundry, the squeaky door hinge, the tarnished toaster oven, etc) but I also know I'm not alone in the world of people that constantly feel like they've got too much to do and not enough time to do it. For me, having a clear definition in my mind about what really matters, what really Needs to get done has already helped take a huge burden off my shoulders. I will keep reminding myself of these definitions especially when the babies arrive because I don't ever want to look back and realize that I put something as silly as scouring the toaster oven ahead of spending quality time with my family!
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