Financial pow-wow

S and I are sitting down this weekend to have a major financial discussion.  As I’ve mentioned before, he and I have always kept very independent financial lives.  This has worked for us for many reasons but times they are a changin’ and so must we.  I don’t mind saying that I’m really not looking forward to the idea of hashing out budgets together or coming up with a savings plan or how to handle family insurance or really anything that involves the two of us having to sit down and openly and honestly talk about the financial situation we are about to find ourselves in with twin infants. 

We have trouble communicating about finances.  In part this is due to the horribly crappy financial messes we were individually in when we started dating (me and my debt mountain/ him with his job loss and foreclosure).  Even though out situations are better now, we have the residual feelings of shame that keep us from wanting to open up about finances.  Also, we have completely different outlooks on money and how to handle finances which has led to some heated moments in the past.  Lastly, we are both stupidly independent sometimes to the point of stubbornness.  All of these things have led us to the comfortable arrangement we now have of just staying out of each other’s financial business.

It’s long overdue that we confront these issues and start working together but it’s taken the pregnancy for both of us to be ready to tackle this uncomfortable aspect of our relationship.  I’m writing this because I need a little accountability to make this sit-down happen.  We’ve actually “planned” on talking the last two weekends but really haven’t done anything but skim over the surface level  issues that we need to figure out.  During our last discussion we at least agreed to spend this week coming up with hard budget numbers so that this weekend we could sit down and make some real decisions.  To that end I’ve got a baby stuff list and budget, my own personal budget, my major expenses for 2013, some tentative childcare costs, and my company’s family health insurance cost.  I feel like I’m coming to the table prepared and ready to work with him to get a plan together for 2013… I’ll let you know how it goes!